There are those who would debate the need for a guide like this. Healers live posh and comfortable lives, they would claim, why should they need a guide to life? It is quite simple, healers don't get the kind of life that is generally ascribed to them by shear chance. Only careful planning can insure that a young healer will have a healthy bank account and a comfortable retirement.

Some will argue that what I will write about in this book should best be left to the masters of these young apprentices. To put it bluntly, I don't believe that most of the healers get into the finer points of the healer's trade, instead focusing their time to actually teaching an apprentice how to heal people. This should be remedied quickly. The day that a healer relies solely on his or her healing skills to make a living is the day that I turn in my vest and retire. Unfortunately, I'm not around Eristan much anymore, and therefore I decided to write this book.

In this book the young apprentices can discover how things really work in the healers field. They won't learn why you shouldn't cast any wound transfer spell on an ogre, ever, but they will learn how to use the strength, size, and relative lack of intelligence of that same ogre when it comes time to straighten up the hall after a particularly rousing party. And, they will learn that it is a wonderful idea to learn how to sneak when the ogres are still around and either have been to the party and are hungover or are upset that they weren't invited to the party in the first place.

You may think that when it comes time to gain an instructor in the arts of healing your options are quite limited. Quite the contrary is actually the case however. First of all, go to the local Healer's Hall, wade through the throngs of would be mages and entertainers and the occasional bleeding hulk of an unfortunate fighter who has the strange delusion that they may some day be treated for their wounds. Walk straight past any wounded. This is very important, if you actually help anyone who is injured you have counted yourself out of the race to become a healer. This may be a bit confusing, but it's actually quite simple: most healers have egos the size of Eristan. They may not actually get around to healing anyone, but if there's going to be healing done around there, by Dannika, it'll be done by them. Healers are very territorial about their prey, er patients, but if they seem too interested in actually healing people will believe that they have aura to burn, which they do, and begin to ask for help at all sorts of unreasonable times, such as while the healer is in the middle of checking his balance at the bank or nipping of to the local tavern for a beer.

Once you have made it into the hall, look for the list of people who actually are healers. Ignore the Apprentices until you become one, and skip the Journeymen for right now, I'll talk about them later, the Healers are the ones you want to look for. While it may be tempting to scout out the Senior Healer, it won't do you any good as more often than not the Senior Healer will never actually set foot inside the Healers Hall unless they're actively being pursued by either a horde of grue or a tax collector. Despite what I've said earlier, some actual healing must be done on occasion, that's what the Journeymen are for. They are the ones who do the day to day healing while the Healers save them selves for the nice flashy resurrect spells. Journeymen tend to have glazed eyes, bloody hands, and little or no personality. I hear that they have changed the titles a bit since I left, but I think that they kept the same number of levels, just do the math. I like the old titles better.

Once you have met the Healers and decided which one fits your needs the best, one that's nice and relaxed so that they aren't so enthusiastic about your education that you never have a minute of free time, but is still motivated enough to give you some basic spells, you must convince them to begin your education. One of the most important things to learn about your new instructor is whether they are more interested in your abilities or your personality. If they are interested in your abilities make sure you have every healing spell that you are able to lay your hands on and are able to cast it quickly at half power. If they are interested in your personality it is of the utmost importance that you have no healing skill whatsoever. In fact it often helps that you have a great deal of skill in some other field. My apprentice was a great dwarven warrior before she came under my tutelage, as you can guess I am of the sort that prefers personality to ability. I can tell you that having a dwarven warrior turn healer can be quite a nasty shock for any uninformed would be healer-killers.

The first step in convincing your master to be that they should take you on as an apprentice is to convince them that they need an apprentice at all. This may take some doing, as an apprentice represents not so much a large amount of training time as one more way to split the profits. There are arguments that you can use to persuade a healer to take an apprentice however. For example, you might explain to them that taking on an apprentice will add to their reputation. Alternately, you might explain to them that having an apprentice gives them someone to throw to the wolves when a large mob is chasing them, or one more chance that a crazed healer-killer won't kill them next. In addition, what could be better than having an apprentice to beg and fetch and serve your every whim?

Now that you have an instructor, your training will begin. Once this happens, get all the spells that they are willing to teach you quickly, before they loose interest in the whole affair. After they loose interest, you'll have a tough time getting any help from them. They'll proclaim you a journeyman or somesuch and you'll be expected to do some actual work.

If, by some chance, you end up as a journeyman healer, you're screwed.

The best thing you can do at this point is suck in your pride and do so much healing so well that you are quickly promoted to Healer, when you can sit back and let the others do the work. This is by no means what I recommend though. What I recommend is that you spend allot of time out of town, and only return to town when your instructor is around. This way you can impress them by working hard in front of them, and when they ask you where you were you can give one of three responses: I was out exploring the world to attempt to gain a new spell for the guild, I was healing someone outside of town, or I was adventuring with a party. It is best to mix up the replies a bit so that your mentor does not get suspicious. An added benefit of this is that you get a chance to practice hiking, in case you need to evacuate town in a hurry. It also helps to spread a rumor of what a great healer you are, or even to bribe someone to spread the rumor for you. If the guild elders hear about it, they'll wonder why you are a measly journeyman and promote you to full healer.

Once you are promoted to full healer, your best bet is to get your own healer's hall as soon as possible. Be sure to name it Healer's Hall, too, since most local governments give tax breaks to such organizations.

Choosing a location is also important. It's best to pick a town where there are no other healers, so that the population doesn't know any better. It's also good to be in a rather large city, so that there are plenty of places to hide and plenty of diversions that you can explore rather than healing. It is up to your own tastes to decide the specifics though. Just make sure that the populous can support your rather expensive lifestyle.

When you design your hall there are some very important considerations to keep in mind. For example, you should always have at least one way out that no one else knows about so you can...exit discretely. You should also try to get a private room with locks on all of the doors so that you can hide in there when someone wants to be healed. While it is tempting to put a library in your private room, I don't recommend it. If you do people will want to hang out in your bedroom and read all the books when you just want to get some sleep. A big entrance hall is also nice, you can leave the bloodied corpses of the fighters out there so the rest of your hall is nice and clean for your parties.

The best way to deal with a dissatisfied customer is to claim that it is their fault that they were not healed properly. "What," you can exclaim, "You were breathing when you were being healed? Are you nuts?!" Remember, as far as they know you are the expert.

Another good way is to make friends with an ogre. Especially an ogre who knows how to loom. Looming is an essential skill that ogres are often able to easily perfect. This is also a good plan since the same ogre can be used to collect from deadbeats and protect you from your more violent customers. There was a reason that Lirrin was refered to as the Godmother of the Healer's Mafia.

Should a customer actively try to kill you, you should alert the entire populous. You are a healer, darn it, you have selflessly sacrificed everything so that you can heal their wounds. They should protect you, it is their duty. You should post lengthy notes that even though the brute attacked you, you forgive him. My what an upstanding individual you are. And since you have all that money lying around from healing people you could always hire someone to take care of the problem for you quietly anyway. If you are feeling particularly cruel you can then get your attacker's amulet and resurrect them into an amusing body. Snakes are nice, because they can't pick anything up, which means that they can't get another amulet to be reincarnated out of. Note: This is also a good way to treat tax collectors and anyone who has the gaul to brag about how much better of a caster they are in your own hall.